Wow, look at these all these enticing birds.
Probably really makes you want to hire me.
No two birds I paint are alike.
When I paint your bird, it’s going to be based on you, from “what hat would they look good in?” to “do they have any light left behind their eyes?”
(Click on a bird to see it in its full bird glory!)
Living The Small Town High Life
After work, Rick sat up at Julie’s Bar & Grill, picking at the signature X label around the neck of his glistening bottle. It’s sweat pooled on the bar top. Rick could relate, his own collar damp from the day’s efforts. Summer in Oklahoma was no damn joke.
Miami Ibis
Jamie let out a chirp of excitement and allowed herself to enjoy the sound: an outward expression of her zest for life. Who cared about being a “woo bird” or whatever? She was in Miami, the night was perfect and life was good.
Booby Bobby
Y’know, it wasn’t the “booby” part of Blue-Footed Booby that really bothered Bobby. It was actually the “Blue-Footed” thing. Everyone was always asking to see his feet. He was in his 30s now. He didn’t want to whip his feet out on the course for his buddy’s amusement. He just wanted to drink a transfusion and hit the ball really, really hard.
Big Shoebill Bill
Bill was big… really big. And he could tell people noticed, startled by him if they saw him out on a nighttime stroll or when he turned a corner suddenly. He’d taken to wearing increasingly loud and colorful hats, hats he hoped would say “Don’t fear! I’m just a silly guy under all this beak and feather and bone!”
Tiny Hat, Big Personality
When people told Melissa she had a “big personality,” she was never quite sure what that meant. Big like… a big piece of cake? Or big like…too loud? Whatever, she was glad she’d worn her tiny novelty hat to her sister’s birthday party. It was probably the most exciting thing her sister’s dull friends, who all somehow worked in data entry, had seen all week.
Pack A Day
Tony knew he should cut back. Knew every little, irresistible stick was bad for him. But damn… did they take the edge off. Cutting back could be next week’s problem. It was always next week’s problem.
Humming Beret
She’d mulled over the purchase for months. Let it sit in her closet for weeks. But now, walking around the city she loved, Nina knew she was right: she could pull off a beret.
Smoking Behind The Bleachers
Glen hadn’t been enthused that his sister was forcing him to attend his nephew’s JV game. Glen hadn’t been to a baseball game since he’d quit the minors. But now, smoke curling around his fingers, a crowd above cheering in the stands and the “thwack” of wood striking ball in the night air, Glen felt an unfamiliar warmth in his chest instead of familiar, cold shame.
Starling At The Lakefront
An iced matcha at the lakefront?
Oh, that’s doing summer right.
Robin-Chat On Vacation
The green glasses threw everything into a pleasing haze… or maybe that was the beer?
Road Runner, Speed Walker
Sometimes the best thing after a healthy walk around the neighborhood is a cig.
Motorcycle Finch
This guy you know wears a bandana to the bar. You kind of want to make fun of it but then it’s like… you know what? It does look kind of cool.
Owl See You Later
Why did everyone thing Frank was a night owl? Like yes he was in a technical sense nocturnal, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go to a third bar.
Woodstock Woodpecker
Hey pal, is that one of them jazz cigarettes?
Cool Jay
He goes by “Jay.” Years later, you realize his name is actually Joseph.
Parakeet On Vacation
So many people “only smoke on vacation.” But living in a coastal town? Brenda figures she’s kinda always on vacation, so she’s smoking.
Drinking Duck
Doug never knew what to order in a bar like this. He always got whatever micro-brew was on tap… but secretly coveted the Miller High Life bottles, calling to him like a siren from the fridge behind the bar.
Jaunty Chickadee
One thing Jacob loved about the south: plenty of events where a man could day drink and wear a fancy little hat.
Heron After Semester Abroad
Jess studied for one semester in France and now she wears this beret all the time but its like… it does have a certain je ne sais quoi, no?
Baltimore Bird
It’s a lot of work being the mascot for a baseball team. You would reach for a cig, too!
Party Bird #1
Birthday parties in your 30s are always a whole thing.
Party Bird #2
The whole table ordered martinis, so Sam did too just to be easy or whatever. But he didn’t know it would be gross.
Party Bird #3
Maggie felt herself doing that thing again. She wasn’t listening to her friends, just waiting for her turn to talk. Between sips, she made a mental note to talk to her therapist about it on Monday.
Party Bird #4
The only thing better than ordering the fruity, silly cocktail is finding out that it comes with a little umbrella.
Hipster Robin
You just know this cig is an American Spirit
Smoking Quail
He claims that he rolls his own cigs, but he just happens to always have Parliaments on hand.
Tucan On Caffeine
Caffeine isn’t a drug but then you have too much of it and it’s like OH YEAH, IT IS.
Little Punk Ass Blue Jay
This motherfucker still owes me $20
Chunky Robin
All birds look good in hats but this dude is kinda wearing hats in a way that’s like… what are you hiding? We’re at dinner, man.
Humming Bottle
Look this bird was PRESCRIBED this medication, so don’t get mad at me. I’m not insinuating anything, you are.